Since 2012, Sweet & Sour Reviews got married. I met the mysterious Cousins. I stopped going to the Burbank Mall for soft pretzels. Well, that about wraps up what changed.
But don't worry, in the last two and a half months I've read 33 books. I'm still very insane interesting.
Here is an amusing gif:
Here is an amusing gif:
Alright! This is going well. Let's get to it!
The 2014 Crappy Book Awards
Book Most Likely To Make You Angry at your Boyfriend for No Reason
HEY BOYFRIEND, want to make me dinner? Oh no, you're busy? Are you busy trying to kill me on a rollercoaster? What's wrong with me you ask? You would ask that you beautiful monster. IT'S JUST THERE IS NO PLEASURE IN THE WORLD. EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL ME AND I HAVE NO MAGICAL POWERS BUT NO BIG DEAL
Book Which Will Sort Of Make You Wonder While You're Reading It If The Writer Will Be Smote Down By The Heavens For A Really Weird Interpretation of Angels
Basically: Everyone's going to hell.
Book Which Will Depress You Most About "Teens Today"
Once Again:
Basically: I'd sell my soul for a date to prom!
Worst Use Of The English Language
I am writing a book about the human age class "Teens." I must sound as they sound.
"That's copacetic, I have Spanish at eight o'clock, so that'll work" Freddie says happily.
"This is so gonna pop. Later, Freddie!"
Yes, good. The human teens I brewed in my laboratory sounded just like this.But..what are they named?
..."Buns and Brownie knock on my door when they get back.."
PERFECT. Yes, Buns and Brownie. These are proper TEEN names. Now, what word do teens say a lot?
"Thanks, sweetie!" Buns whispers..
"Good, sweetie, did you get a chance to look at the manual?"
"You did it, sweetie!" Buns cheers.
"I'll be right down, sweetie, don't move!"
"Are you okay, sweetie?"
"Sweetie, you're so lucky"
"Sweetie, if you don't, I will," Buns says, smiling.
"Oh that's in my car, sweetie."
"How was your practice, sweetie?"
"Here you are, sweetie"
"Sweetie....sweetie..can you hear me?"
This is a good start. But I will need to put "Sweetie" in 51 (Editors note: actually 51 times, this has been counted) more times. It is not enough to be a convincing human teen.
First YA Book I've Read Where the Main Character Smokes
It was okay.
Book Where There is Nothing Obviously Wrong With It But You're Sort of Bored But You Think It's Like Maybe Acclaimed Enough That You Should Like It More
Book Everyone Online Thinks Is Amazing And You Wish You Could Understand Why, I dunno, is it the Space Travel Thing?
You Should Read These Instead:
1. Angelfall & World After by Susan Ee
2. Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black
3. Daughter of Smoke and Bone Trilogy by Laini Taylor
4. Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson
5. Outcast by Adrienne Kress
Happy Valentines Day,
Angry Book Blog
The 2014 Crappy Book Awards
Book Most Likely To Make You Angry at your Boyfriend for No Reason
HEY BOYFRIEND, want to make me dinner? Oh no, you're busy? Are you busy trying to kill me on a rollercoaster? What's wrong with me you ask? You would ask that you beautiful monster. IT'S JUST THERE IS NO PLEASURE IN THE WORLD. EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL ME AND I HAVE NO MAGICAL POWERS BUT NO BIG DEAL
Book Which Will Sort Of Make You Wonder While You're Reading It If The Writer Will Be Smote Down By The Heavens For A Really Weird Interpretation of Angels
Basically: Everyone's going to hell.
Book Which Will Depress You Most About "Teens Today"
Once Again:
Basically: I'd sell my soul for a date to prom!
Worst Use Of The English Language
I am writing a book about the human age class "Teens." I must sound as they sound.
"That's copacetic, I have Spanish at eight o'clock, so that'll work" Freddie says happily.
"This is so gonna pop. Later, Freddie!"
Yes, good. The human teens I brewed in my laboratory sounded just like this.But..what are they named?
..."Buns and Brownie knock on my door when they get back.."
PERFECT. Yes, Buns and Brownie. These are proper TEEN names. Now, what word do teens say a lot?
"Thanks, sweetie!" Buns whispers..
"Good, sweetie, did you get a chance to look at the manual?"
"You did it, sweetie!" Buns cheers.
"I'll be right down, sweetie, don't move!"
"Are you okay, sweetie?"
"Sweetie, you're so lucky"
"Sweetie, if you don't, I will," Buns says, smiling.
"Oh that's in my car, sweetie."
"How was your practice, sweetie?"
"Here you are, sweetie"
"Sweetie....sweetie..can you hear me?"
This is a good start. But I will need to put "Sweetie" in 51 (Editors note: actually 51 times, this has been counted) more times. It is not enough to be a convincing human teen.
First YA Book I've Read Where the Main Character Smokes
It was okay.
Book Where There is Nothing Obviously Wrong With It But You're Sort of Bored But You Think It's Like Maybe Acclaimed Enough That You Should Like It More
Book Everyone Online Thinks Is Amazing And You Wish You Could Understand Why, I dunno, is it the Space Travel Thing?
You Should Read These Instead:
1. Angelfall & World After by Susan Ee
2. Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black
3. Daughter of Smoke and Bone Trilogy by Laini Taylor
4. Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson
5. Outcast by Adrienne Kress
Happy Valentines Day,
Angry Book Blog
